2013년 2월 27일 수요일

Monthly TOEFL Essay number #1: Please don't leave any food!!

In worldwide, every country has its own unique custom, such as in India they eat with right hands. Korea is not an exception. In Korea, there are lots of customs that has been passed down from the past, for instance bowing to people who are older than us. There is another custom which is not leaving food when eating. Not only there are regulations about this in many schools, but also in many units of family, parents scorn kids for leaving food. Personally, I thought it would be a good custom for other countries to adopt as it is definitely good for health, less waste in food sources, and can help people to realize the importance of following rules.

 

To begin with, not leaving food is certainly beneficial for our health. Nowadays, there is growing attention on keeping balance with one’s health, but at the same time, there are growing numbers of health problems. Increasing number of students is getting fat, due to the digestion of junk foods. Meanwhile, many teenagers are also getting extremely slim, due to severe diets. However, when we don’t leave any food, it is easy to maintain one’s health. We get to eat all the nutrients that are provided in a dish, and also we can prevent ourselves from becoming over-weight, since we eat exactly the certain amount given. Thus, we get to eat in a balanced nutrient state, which helps significantly in keeping our health.

 

In addition, this custom enables Korean pupils to reduce the amount of leftover food. Korean students usually choose what they want to eat in the cafeteria from the point where they are in elementary school. As they are not allowed to have left-over food, it is important that students choose how much, and what they are going to eat. Gradually, it can lead pupils to make better selection on eating the exact amount they need. For instance, I had a friend who always put all the food on his dish. Without a doubt, he always had left over food, and was always criticized by his homeroom teacher. Because of it, he was always left alone in the cafeteria eating up all the food. However, he realized that he needed to have less food on his dish. Gradually, he was able to reduce the time he spent on meals, and also reduce the amount of leftover food. Thus, this custom is beneficial in reducing the amount of waste food.

 

Moreover, not leaving food can help people to realize the importance of obeying rules. Though this custom may appear to have little impact, it actually plays a significant role for individuals to enhance the ability as a social member. Many people feel it tiresome not to leave small amount of food, such as rice paste. Nevertheless, as individuals follow the custom, they can practice the habit of not ignoring minor policies. Thus, this custom is helpful in making people to follow the social rules, even minor ones.

 

To conclude, I argue that not leaving food is a good custom for other countries to adopt. This is mainly because it has positive impacts on our body, can decrease the waste of food, and because one can understand the importance of obeying the rules. As it is a custom that our parents and teachers always stress, it would definitely bring positive impacts when it is adopted.

6 개의 댓글:

I thought this was a well organized essay in that it follows a strict order and sequence. Also, I really liked the specifications on the benefits of not leaving food.
However, you talked about not leaving food, and while I think that you did a good job of explaining the benefits of not leaving food, I did not see exactly why this is a Korean custom.

To clarify: I didn't see why the social norms against leaving food are exclusively Korean. An interesting case in point: a news report on how French mothers slap their children when they asked about leaving food.

Minseok, the essay is sensational. It is well-written and well-organized, and inspires all readers with bright ideas. But as there is nothing perfect, I will unwillingly leave some comments.

The introduction is well-written. But still it is just a typical TOEFL essay introduction - one that might seem banal to readers. I'd rather draw an interesting fact related to you topic and write about that in the intro.

Also, you failed to recognize that most, if not all, countries or cultures have similar customs. And in some cases, eating everything can be detrimental to your health, such as spicy soup (kimchi jjigae). These problems were not addressed.

But other than that, it was great.

Hi Minseok, your essay seems well-organized, much better than me, and it is unique enough, except for the hook parts. I think if you make your intro a little more specified, rather than the general TOEFL intro, into some specific examples, it might get much deeper essay to you. Also, I have a question; is 'not leaving any food after dining' is only a custom limited to Korea so other countries have to follow or adopt? Besides, well done!

Hi, Billy
My name is Jinwoo Paul Kim
You just kept the regular rule of toefl writing essay very well. However, I think there is a little illogical part in paragraph 1. We could not jsut assert that leaving food is good for our health. Also, In other countries there are also customs of not leaving food. As far as, I know the parents in abroad also scorn the children if they do leave their food.

However, very well constructed and nice essay!!!

While I find your essay to be fairly well constructed, following closely what is asked of you in terms of a TOEFL response, I find it necessary to point out that when growing up, I was not allowed to leave the table until I had finished everything on my plate. My brother was quite picky, and would sometimes still be sitting at the table two hours after everyone else had finished since he had not finished his meal.

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